How do you feel confident if you don’t Feel attractive It’s one of the Common problems among so many people is That i really don’t I don’t look in the mirror and think That i’m hot i don’t think that i’m sexy I don’t think that i’m desirable so how Am i supposed to feel confident and then I’m told that being confident is what Makes me attractive but i don’t feel Confident because i don’t feel Attractive so i get into this negative Loop that i don’t know how to break out Of i Like to think of confidence as split Into a distinction there’s Self-acceptance Which is accepting us ourselves for who We are today what we look like Our limitations our body shape our face Our hair the things that we are and have Right now and then there’s self-esteem And self-esteem is different from Self-acceptance because self-esteem is The things we do that make us Proud of ourselves self-acceptance is Really just saying What Ingredients am i working with right now Those are my ingredients i’m not going To wish for others it’s pointless to Wish for other ingredients these this is My face this is my body this is my life
This is the age i am this is where i am Right now in my life self-acceptance is The stopping of Wishing for other people’s ingredients Or a different life and instead just Accepting a radical acceptance Of My life and me the real art of our lives Comes from how good of a chef we are Not wishing for different ingredients But going how great of a chef Could i be i don’t get to work with Different ingredients i have to work With the ingredients i have but how Interesting of a meal could i whip up With these ingredients today this year In the next decade of my life that to me Is exciting that to me is the art of our Lives and then doing the hard things That enable us to make the most of those Ingredients and that’s where we begin Building self-esteem and like i said Self-esteem to me is distinct from Self-acceptance because self-esteem Can Only be borne out of Doing Hard things Pushing against resistance in ways that Make us Proud of ourselves the things that build Character the things that reveal Character now how is all of this tied to Looking in the mirror and feeling
Unattractive i believe That we put more and more focus on the Superficial aspects of our worth When we don’t feel we’ve built the Deeper ways of being worthy when we Haven’t done the things that make us Proud because at a certain point when We’re going out and living our life and And doing difficult things Making ourselves proud and i don’t mean In terms of outside achievement i’m not Talking about acquiring wealth or fancy Houses or anything like that you can Have it in the silent battles that you Overcome within yourself i’m proud of me That i did that difficult thing this Week or that i’ve achieved that goal This year i’ve made myself proud if for Whatever reason superficially i don’t Live up to your ideal of what you want Me to be that’s okay But ultimately You’re not even seeing me on the terms That i want to be seen so you’re not for Me are we going to have moments in life Where we go oh that sucks you know i Lost my hair oh that sucks this happened Of course you can have those those Disappointments along the way but But when you’ve built self-esteem There’s always something deeper that’s Driving you forward that’s driving your Value i’m i’m so proud of me this kind Of seems ridiculously superficial in
Comparison to the things that i’m proud Of me for my essence is is just so much Bigger and more profound than this And that’s the part that i want everyone To connect with and by the way you will Have no doubt done things in your life Achieved things done overcome difficult Challenges and done them with such um In such heroic fashion That Part of this will be you reconnecting To the things you’ve already done that Have been heroic Not just thinking that i need to do more Difficult things but understanding that You already have done difficult things And that somewhere along the way You forgot How amazing those things were and Started measuring yourself on this skin Deep level of attractiveness that you Think you have when you look in the Mirror i’m not even bothering with this Video to to do the whole kind of Reassurance thing like you know we we Know what do people do when we say i Don’t feel attractive people go nice People people who want to make us feel Better tend to reflexively say no you’re Beautiful you’re gorgeous or whatever And i think that’s lovely but You know what if our facial symmetry Isn’t as great as the next person’s what If our nose is bigger what if we haven’t
Got as much hair what if as a man we are Shorter than the next person what are You gonna tell me no you are tall I think that it’s more beneficial just To say i there’s a different game i’m Playing all together and by the way i’m Not saying with this to stop caring and Have no pride in the way you look you Can still make the best of whatever you Have but again that comes back down to Accepting your ingredients and making The best of them and then making peace Making peace with the things you’re Never going to be and instead going The game i’m playing is the ultimate Self-esteem of making myself proud my Confidence comes from a deep well Of valuing who i am in this life Valuing my ability to do difficult Things Valuing how i overcome challenges so Here’s what i want to do with you I have in the name of Actually putting this into action Together Put together a 30 day Confidence challenge that i’m going to Be doing with thousands of people from All over the world starting on the 27th Of september with a kickoff call live With me and i’m gonna use this kickoff Call To Go through
Five specific Confidence building missions That we’re going to do together over 30 Days and then during those 30 days We are going to see Measurable improvements in our Confidence because we’re going to be Building the self-esteem that comes from Doing these difficult things they’re Achievable but they will put us outside Our comfort zones you can join me by Going to mhchallenge.com This is completely free It’s available for anybody share it with As many people as you can you know you Want to go through this challenge with And we’ll do it together as a global Community improving our confidence go to Mhchallenge to sign up for free now And i’ll be in your inbox soon with more Updates about the challenge You
Relationships: Is It Good Or Bad To See The Best In People?
While there are some people in the world who always try to see the best in others, there are also people who always try to see the worst in others. In their eyes, the outlook they have could be seen as best one to have.
Things You Should Do to Remain Calm Consistently
It’s not uncommon for people to get upset when things happen during the course of their day. Since people are born with different temperaments, some people are more likely to get upset when things do not go right with their activities than others. Even though some reactions tend to be inherited, staying calm can be learned if an individual knows what they should do. With this said, here’s a brief list of things that can be done to turn quick and harsh reactions around.
Difference in Our Times
About the generation gap. How life, culture, aspirations of people change over time. It is about how social media has changed our way of thinking. The very familiar feelings of love and romance have changed their profile. People have become more connected but less intimate.
Relationships: Can How A Relationship Ends Define Whether It Can Be Rekindled?
While a relationship can last a lifetime, there is also chance it will only last for short amount of time. It could also be said that there is a greater chance of one staying friends with someone for a lifetime than there is of them being in an intimate relationship with someone for the same amount of time.
Relationships: How Can Someone Make Sure They Don’t End Up In An Abusive Relationship?
While there are some people who end up in relationships that are life-affirming, there are others who end up in relationships that are life-denying. As a result of this, their experiences on this planet are going to be radically different.
Why Feeling Vulnerable, When You Are, Is Normal
“I just don’t want to feel this way,” is a common sentiment I get when seeing people as a counsellor. People never like being vulnerable. But feeling vulnerable when you’re vulnerable is normal. It’s normal to have bouts of vulnerability.
He Emptied Himself Of Everything, Except Love
God is love, and hence not willing that anyone should perish. For that reason, He’s provided a way of escape for everyone.
Learning About Child Sexual Abuse
A few days ago TLC had a special documentary entitled “Breaking the Silence” in which five individuals told the stories of how they had been sexually abuse as children. The perpetrators were not strangers but individuals who the children and their families knew and trusted. Statistics indicate that this is true for most cases as over 90% of children know their abusers.
Love and Respect
If respect matters to you more than love, walk away from someone who doesn’t show it with definitive actions. If love matters more to you than respect, at least try to feel that your love is being returned in equal measure.
Please Don’t Feed the Dragon
Are there people in your life who attempt, and often succeed in manipulating you to do things their way? Do you walk on eggshells around certain people so you don’t upset them? Are you feeling manipulated, resentful, anxious or victimized? This article might help you break the patterns that keep you under your “dragon’s” paw.