If He Pulls Away, This Will Make Him Chase You

I’m going to read you a question that Was asked to me from one of my love life Club members and there was a part of This question that I immediately called on I want you to see if you Pick up on what part that was and I will Tell you and you can see if you were Right I travel a lot and there’s this Guy I started seeing a month and a half Ago Because of our travel schedules we’ve Only seen each other every couple of Weeks with texting in between when you Have an intense schedule how do you Continue to deepen a relationship with This guy it feels like there will be These moments of momentum then things Stop How do you keep it going okay which part Did you say was BS the part that I Called out Was when she said when you have an Intense schedule how do you continue to Deepen a relationship here’s what I said To her in the moment is that really what You think do you really feel Like right now the relationship isn’t Progressing because you have such an Intense schedule and she looked at me And started smiling I said let me ask You this could you text him more would You like to to both of these questions She said yes so what I said to her is Then this isn’t your excuse it’s his

Excuse and you’ve appropriated it he has A very busy schedule and has an intense Travel schedule blah blah blah and by The way so does she it’s not not true That she has an intense schedule but he Uses it as an excuse as to why he can’t Give more and she now has adopted the Royal we around that excuse It’s a bit Like being with someone who says you Know I’m just I’m a really Zen person You know I just I just like to kind of Go with the flow and I’m very chill and And I don’t know I don’t like to make Plans about you know what this is and Where this is going and put a label on It I’m just I’m more of a spontaneous Person you know and then when you go and Describe the situation to your friends And they say hey how’s it going with That guy you’re seeing you go you know We’re just both really chill and just Kind of seeing where things are going And just kind of you know not putting Any labels on it right now just enjoying Being spontaneous and just kind of Taking it as it comes you know I see This happen all the time if I were to Put a true vulnerability filter on the Question that she asked me here’s what I Would translate it to I travel a lot and There’s a guy I started seeing a month And a half ago vulnerability filter I Travel a lot and I’m also ready for a Real relationship in my life where I

Prioritize someone and there’s a guy I Started seeing a month and a half ago That I’ve actually come to quite I like When you have an intense schedule how do You continue to deepen a relationship I Have an intense schedule but that Doesn’t change the fact that I want to Deepen this relationship so how do I do That without getting brutally rejected By someone who actually doesn’t want the Same things as me with this guy it feels Like there will be these moments of Momentum which get me excited and Hopeful then things stop which makes me Sad and is hurtful look I get it I get Exactly where this woman is she’s three Dates in with a guy She’s a month and a half into knowing Him And that naturally feels especially in a World that feels so casual all the time About dating That feels like a time where we’re not Entitled to make our demands we don’t Want to come on too strong we don’t want To scare someone off and so we feel like We’re in this no man’s land of not being Able to demand anything but at the same Time Knowing that we want more so what do we Do in that moment is this a time to lay Down your standards right because that’s Something that can easily come across as Too aggressive why is this person

Yelling at me we’ve only known each Other a month and a half and we’re both Busy and we have a lot going on what is This we’re afraid of creating that Reaction So this isn’t a time for laying down the Law he’s been so disrespectful but we Also want to communicate something of Our intentions Well I believe that a wonderful Gateway To conversations about what we want Standards boundaries down the line is Vulnerability today about how we feel Let me give you an example because I Always believe that I can give you all of the psychology in The world but if I align it to an actual Phrase an actual message or a way of Having a conversation that’s the most Useful thing I can give you because You’ll hear it and you’ll go oh that’s How that sounds so imagine for a moment That They spoke on a Monday or a Tuesday He disappeared for the rest of the week And then the following Monday he reaches Out to her and says how was your weekend Here’s what she could send back I had an Amazing weekend a little disappointed I Didn’t hear from you though dot dot dot How have you been now the nuances in This message are important the fact that When you say I had an amazing weekend And then you put a little blushy face

Emoji warms up the message right and it Also says I had a great time I was not Have I was not not having a great time Because you didn’t reach out to me but Then comes the vulnerability A little disappointed I didn’t hear from You though dot dot dot the dot dot dot Is an invitation for him to actually Respond to that then you say how have You been which is still warm and you’re Still making conversation there’s no Bitterness about this message there’s no Edge in fact the whole point of this is That it’s coming from a place of just There’s a pureness to it it’s just Vulnerability I’m just sharing bravely I Should add Something that I feel I’m a little Disappointed I didn’t hear from you what This does is it immediately Changes someone’s perception of you from Two Dimensions to three dimensions you Become Human You’re not just some thing to be Experienced for someone’s enjoyment when They want to reappear You’re someone with feelings and and Things that you would like in life and You’re affected by things So now someone sees you in your humanity And they get to decide how to respond to That now they may want to progress Things with you or they may not but what

They can’t do is pretend your Humanity Doesn’t exist vulnerability is like a Beautiful loophole at a time where you Don’t feel entitled to make demands of Somebody and of course the fact that You’ve expressed a vulnerability means That later down the line you’ve paved The way for a more honest conversation If the sporadic communication continues And that’s what this message does it Makes you more likely to be taken Seriously for a real relationship It makes it harder for someone to Pretend that their actions are having no Effect and it allows you to own your Needs and where you actually are in your Life which is not in the same place as This person who may be just working Relentlessly and traveling and only have Time for casual on the side that’s not Where you are where you are is a person Who’s busy and excited about a Relationship and willing to prioritize It if you find the right person for it When you know that about yourself and You own it Then you start to communicate it and When you can communicate it you get Taken more seriously by the people you Encounter now so many people find that The most useful part of a video like This is the part where I actually wrote Out what to say because it’s different When you hear it it’s one thing for me

To say be confident it’s another thing For me to go this is a confident Conversation in action this is what a Really confident message looks like this Is how to start to assert a boundary in A very gentle way that doesn’t scare Someone away these things are incredibly Helpful which is why I created an entire Program full of very specific scripts That you can use in dating called how to Talk to men it’s one of my most popular Programs and today I wanted to give you Something free from that program which Is a chapter from the program that you Can download right now it’s free it’s Over at Getthefreechapter.com go over there now And check it out before you leave this Video and I will see you over there the Link again is get the freechapter.com

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About the Author: Jodie Smith

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