[Music] Foreign We have a question in from Amber who Says hi jams gotta say I absolutely Adored a podcast listening to you all Gives me hope positivity and makes me Excited about dating my question for you Today is something I’ve always struggled With and that is talking to approaching And or flirting with attractive men I am Extremely outgoing friendly person who Talks to strangers all the time however When around an attractive single man I Tend to freeze up like a shy introvert I Would love the confidence of a woman who Knows what they want and goes after it However in public bars concerts parties Etc I never have the guts to flirt or Approach an attractive stranger I’m Worried about coming off too strong too Obvious that I’m interested and almost Put too much pressure on the situation Leaving me not doing anything how can I Shake this fear and allow myself to be Open to striking up conversation with a Man who I find attractive thanks for all Your work Amber so Amber the quick piece Of advice I’m going to give you on this Is you’re beginning too much with the End in mind you’re thinking that you’re Already Overwhelming Yourself by thinking that I Have to go over to someone that I find Really attractive have a great
Conversation Flirt with them make them want me Exchange details and have it go Somewhere and that would be enough to Intimidate anybody I want you to turn Your hope or your expectation about what You’d like to happen into just a Complete Non-expectant curiosity That I am going to be I am just going to go into social Situations with a sense of curiosity That anything can happen And I’m not going to try to go in Thinking I have to seduce this person I’m gonna go in thinking I wonder where tonight will lead I Wonder who I might meet And one of the ways to do that is just To go in and warm yourself up When we think too much we’re in our Heads and we’re not actually warming up Our muscles our social muscles go in and Just talk to people talk to everyone Talk to anybody don’t discriminate don’t If they work they’re great if they don’t Work they’re great are they a man are They a woman doesn’t matter just go and Talk to people be a bit more of a kind Of butterfly with that that initial Energy of just you’re open you’re a People lover you just like people and so You’re just going to say hi to people
And and you’re just going to take little Moments to connect and if they go Nowhere they go nowhere if you cheers Someone and it goes nowhere it goes Nowhere if you tell someone you like Something they’re wearing then and and That’s all it is they say thank you and That’s the end of that interaction great That was the end of that interaction So two big things one warm up don’t go In there and sit there hanging around Occasionally staring at the person you Find really attractive and building up The moment where you go over and talk to Them that’s a recipe for doing nothing Warm up by talking to lots of different People and then When you are talking to people you find Attractive instead of having any kind of Expectation around where it’s going to Go Just imagine that even if I can even if I connect with this person for five Seconds to tell them that I like Something they’re wearing I’m gonna let It be just that and I’m going to have no Expectation there can be no rejection if All I’m doing is being a sociable human Being And and let me just start there and see Where it goes because just the pot that What that means is there’s the Possibility that something will happen What you’re doing right now where you
Don’t do anything means there’s no Possibility By doing what I’m saying the world opens Up does it mean that something will Happen tonight no does it mean that that Person is going to have an amazing Positive reaction and you’re going to End up talking no doesn’t mean any of That But you’ve lowered the stakes and you’ve At least opened the door to possibility And the rejection that you’re so worried About can’t come to you when all you’re Doing is being a sociable human being Not someone who’s going in with a very Specific result in mind when you talk to Someone you think is attractive I think The problem is perfectly epitomized by This part of a question where she says I Would love the confidence of a woman who Knows what they want and goes after it That is I guess what some people think Of confidence as but that’s not really What confidence is right like the people That are really confident they don’t Have so much intent about this one thing It’s usually that no matter what happens They’re going to be fine so this this Massive amount of intent Amber that You’re putting into this interaction Just remove that completely and do what Matt says and just have a mild curiosity And know that you’re going to be fine Whatever like you just remove any of
That true wanting that you that you Think you’re supposed to have here Imagine them in their underwear Don’t don’t do that like in public Speaking That doesn’t work in attraction it does Not work it doesn’t work with a sexy Person who you’re already nervous about Okay sorry Wait I know that cat videos are Beckoning you I do I understand but Before you go and watch them I have Something that will change your life More than those kittens and it is a free Video on what you can text someone to Make it go in a serious Direction Instead of some mindless Sexual frivolity to get this video for Free go to what to textnext.com I’m Going there right now
Time to ‘Man Up’ to the Standard of Respect
Respect is a true meeting of minds and a combining of hearts. Even in disagreement respect shows love is bigger than our difference.
Relationships: Do Some People’s Childhoods Set Them Up To Hate Men/Women?
While there are some people who have moments when they get angry with the opposite sex, there are others who always feel this way. In this case, it could be said that it would be more appropriate to say that they hate them.
Why Do People Who Fear Being Abandoned End Up With People Who Fear Being Smothered?
While there will be times when someone will want to be around others, there will also be times when they want to be by themselves. And as to how long someone will spend in the company of others or in their own company can depend on a number of factors.
Relationships: Is It Naive For Someone To Believe That Another Person Will Change?
Even though a relationship can start off in a certain way, it doesn’t mean that it will be the same as time passes. On one hand, this can be seen as something that just happens as two people get to know each other better, and on the other hand, it can mean that one person was putting on an act.
Relationships: Why Do Some People Always End Up With People They Can Control?
If one was to read a description about what it means to have a healthy relationship, they are unlikely to come across the importance of one person controlling the other. If they were to come across the word ‘control’, they may hear about the importance of self-control.
Do Some People End Up With People They Are Not Attracted To In Order To Avoid Themselves?
While one can end up with someone who they are attracted to, they can also end up with someone who they are not attracted to. If they were to end up with someone they are attracted to, it could be said that they will be a lot happier.
Relationships: Why Do Some People Who Have Empathy End Up With People Who Don’t Have Empathy?
When someone has the ability to empathise with others, they might expect to attract people into their life who are the same. But while they can have this outlook, it doesn’t mean that this is what will take place.
Relationships Bring Essence to Life
Relationships are the substance of life. They bring essence to life. Nevertheless at times, one faces complications in his life and comes across relationship problems. At times one comes to figure out that everything in life is going just fine, but it is the interpersonal human relationships which have become a source of sorrow.
Time Will Adjust Your Relationship Requirements
The man you are currently with may have flaws, but may be the best fit for you and your children. You may not see it now, but time often adjusts relationship requirements.
Relationship Lessons From the Bible
The Bible is full of lessons; one of the many life lessons is about relationship. I assume you’ve read or heard the story of Samson and Delilah. We will glean a lot of relationship lessons from the story of Samson and Delilah. A relationship will not grow if it was built on lust; lust is not love. Samson lusted after Delilah causing him to step out of God’s will for his life. Lustful desire blurs our vision to discern true love. Samson and Delilah were not truly i