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A Man May WANT YOU, But Does He VALUE YOU?… In this dating advice video, I will answer various questions from viewers and discuss why a man wanting you is not enough. Take heed to these dating tips, and ensure you watch the entire video.
If you have ever asked yourself what a man wants when he wants you, this dating advice will help you understand men better. I want you to know how men think so that you can easily communicate with men. Embrace this dating advice to know the signs he wants you and what to do when a man wants you.
As a certified life coach, relationship coach, and dating coach, I want to make dating and relationships easier for you. I pray that you find this video helpful and you will be able to enjoy dating and have a fulfilling, healthy relationship.
If you are asking any of the following questions or searching for:
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and more, well, I believe this dating advice for women video will give you the clarity you need.
Many will want you but few will invest in you. And I just want to quickly talk about it real quick just to say listen, you got to really understand that everyone who likes you or even catches your interests is not worth your time is not meant to be in your life is not meant to be entertained and they aren’t going to all be willing to pour into you the way that you need. And so, you’ve got to be very mindful of not getting caught up in the attention. Getting caught up in somebody wanting you and saying all these wonderful sweet things, which is great it’s cool they can say great words but if they’re not backing it up with actual actions, if they’re not willing to invest time. Because investing in you isn’t about just money. It’s about time, it’s about energy, it’s about love, it’s about communication, you know what I’m saying. You need these things but I see so many people consistently getting caught up and sidetracked by the attention that they’re getting from someone or someone claiming they have interest or you and your interest in them but you’ve got to stay focused on what’s important and if the right foundation is being laid for you and that individual to have a great relationship. And if you know, you follow me then you know I’m all about including God in everything. So, whenever you meet somebody pray about it, you know what I’m saying talk to God and make sure this is the individual for you and someone you need to be entertaining. Because again, many will want you few will invest in you and many will want you but not many are going to be for you. And so, you got to be sure you don’t get caught up in the wrong situations because I’ve seen it damage people. I’ve seen it take people down the wrong path people lose sight of their purpose and I don’t want that happen to any of you guys. So, be sure to… Be mindful that and again, pray about it but also let me say this, heal. Heal from your past experience, heal from the things that you have to deal with and if you follow me you’re going to hear me talk about healing like almost every single time because it’s so important. So, don’t neglect the need to heal to do the work on yourself because when you don’t heal you become more blind or you struggle to embrace or address the red flags you see. You struggle to be in tune with your intuition you struggle to hear God you struggle to stay on the right track because that brokenness that’s existing deep within you is throwing everything off track. So, be sure to flush that negative energy out of your system, heal from past hurts do what needs to be done to make sure you’re on the path God wants you on. So, again, I’m here to answer some questions but like I said quick reminder tell me what city you’re from but also comment I want this and I’m going to pick a random person who’s going to get a free gift. Like I said it could be a free book it might be a free ticket I’m just going to pick somebody and give something away. But let’s get to the questions as well. So, feel free to drop one in. All right and real quick thank you for following me, thank you for all the support, the love, you know I’m saying thank you for everyone who has purchased one of my books and I hope you’ve all have found them helpful and enjoyed them, you know. So, I’m here for you guys so let’s see here. Do not make this one mistake do not think time alone is going to heal you. Time alone is not going to heal anybody you’ve got to put more into it you’ve got to really go through a process forgiveness is a part of that process getting things off your chest is a part of that process, there’s a lot to it. So, please don’t think you can just wait and try to live life as you are and it’s going to work itself out. It doesn’t work like that you’ve got to take the specific steps to make it happen. All right, so Michelle asked how can you tell if a man is sent by God? All right, so this is why you’ve got to really get in tune with your spirit and I’m talking about everybody here, all right. And it doesn’t matter what’s your specific belief system is if you believe in God, if you believe in the spirit then understand that we were given a spirit of truth that is a biblical thing. And so, this is why women’s intuition is so accurate this is why your gut instinct is so accurate that inner voice. The spirit within us knows the truth the problem is we become very detached from our spirit and we keep relying on what we see, hear, or can touch to evaluate and determine what we’re dealing with. And is this person serious and is this, this? And I’m not saying you can’t take any of those things into consideration but understand that your spirit is the true source, the true… It’s the true uhh, clarity or it can provide you with the clarity. It can provide you with the answers that you need learning how to go within, you feel it you sense it we’re just blinded by our emotions, we’re blinded by our fears we’re blinded by so many different things that make it hard for us to embrace what our spirits are telling us. So, you’ve got to learn to reconnect. But reconnecting isn’t just praying. Praying of course, is a part of it but I’m going to throw this at you all real quick the way that you’re eating is having an effect on your ability to connect with your spirit. Your diets are having a huge effect. So, if you want to connect more spiritually I really want you guys to start looking at how you’re eating. I’m not going to go on and on tonight about what specifically to eat because also understand that what you eat is also determined by your specific body or look into eating for your blood type that can be very beneficial. But ultimately better eating and learning how to improve your digestive system believe it or not this may sound crazy and weird but I’m telling you right now look into it, do it. It’s going to make a difference and it will help you not just reconnect with your spirit more, help you with your energy, help you with your focus, help you with a lot of different things. So, to wrap that question up don’t focus on what the man is showing you focus on learning to hear what God is telling you focus on learning to listen to your spirit. That will let you know everything you need to know. Let me also throw this one thing at you all, all right. Because this happens to a lot of women but it can happen to men too but I’m going to say this one for the women. When you’re trying to figure out if that man really loves you ask yourself do you really love him? Because let me explain something to you. A lot of times you’re trying to hold on to a guy because you think he loves you or he loves you more than you love him or it’s a safe situation but you’re not truly in love with him, it’s just safe there. And if you’re not truly in love with him then let me let you know right now he’s not truly in love with you either. True love is not a one-way thing so if it does not exist within you then what’s happening with him is infatuation, all right. So, if you cannot say with complete honesty and certainty that you are in love with him then you can know right there he’s not in love with you. And even if you could make the case that he was it don’t matter because if you’re not in love with him it’s not going to work it’s going to fall apart it’s going to blow up in your face. This happens to tons of women where they get with these men that they think it’s safer because he… They believe he loves them or he shows more love than them they think that he’s more into them than they are into him and that’s a safer situation, but it will never work because you are not the woman he needs and he can never be the man that you need. And at some point, you’re not going to be able to keep this lie up it’s going to blow up in your face and that’s what we see broken marriages broken relationships and all kinds of dysfunction. So, be honest with yourself about how you feel with that dude if you’re trying to determine how he really feels about you. So, Cassandra asks are there men out there with the gift of celibacy? Yes. Now, to be technical I believe it’s actually called abstinence as far as I think celibacy you can correct me if I’m wrong. Celibacy is when you’re vowing to not have sex for the rest of your life. Which there are men I mean there are monks or they’re different guys who may engage on that more, be willing to walk that journey. However, I think the more correct term is abstinence. And believe it or not there’s a lot more abstinent men than women think. The problem is that when a man tells a woman he’s abstinent number one, half the time women don’t believe him anyway. So, it’s almost like he gets to a point of why even try to tell women this? Two, if he’s trying to maintain his abstinence sometimes telling women makes them want to challenge you as far as test you in that area. So, if you’re really trying to protect yourself from falling into that trap you may not say anything. Also there are some people who think oh, if he says he’s absent oh, he must be gay or there’s something else. Like men get a lot of heat for actually admitting or acknowledging abstinence, it’s crazy but it happens. I guarantee you I’ve talked to many men in private who are abstinent but people wouldn’t know people have no idea because they’re not going around announcing it and making a big fuss about it. They’re doing it for a deeper purpose and they’re focused on that. But everyone’s not going to realize that’s what they’re on. So, they do exist and it’s a lot, it’s a lot more than you would think, a lot more. So, let’s see here. Somebody said where? They’re everywhere they’re absolutely everywhere. It’s just again, they’re not… They’re not walking around with a billboard on their back and they’re not walking around with a microphone making announcements about their abstinence. But it’s there it happens there’s a lot, you know I’m saying. Again, it’s just that men are not given that platform to feel comfortable speaking about abstinence and things of that nature. So, let’s see. All right, so question by Eva if a man is inconsistent does it automatically mean he’s lost interest? No, it doesn’t automatically mean that. There are… It depends on what’s contributing to the inconsistency. So, one thing that comes to mind is a lot of men who are ambitious and hard workers and successful. At many times, they lack an understanding of work-life balance and sometimes their inconsistencies are due to the fact that they don’t understand how to better prioritize their relationship or the relationship they’re trying to build without losing Touch of what they’re trying to accomplish business-wise. So, it is possible that the inconsistencies are due to a lack of growth essentially on his end and not understanding how to better handle that dynamic. So, I wouldn’t say automatically jump to the conclusion that he’s lost interest. I think that whenever you see an issue any kind of red flag you talk to the individual about it and you see how if they’re willing to address it. Now, regardless of what his reasons are if you address him and he’s unwilling to make any corrections and any improvements then get him out of the way regardless of what it is, you know I’m saying like, at the end of the day, relationships require certain things communication, quality time, transparency, attraction we can go on and on. If two individuals are not willing to pour into each other in that way then we don’t need to be wasting each other’s time. But just don’t jump to the conclusion that oh, he must have lost interest, no. And sometimes his inconsistencies may be due to your inconsistencies. I see a lot of women sometimes who because of your own walls being up, are being very hot cold, very inconsistent but thinking he’s supposed to still give his full effort and you’re not realizing that after a certain point if you are holding back and you are inconsistent then yes, that can contribute to his. And that’s why talking about it can help clarify what’s really going on here. If it’s a loss of interest is it where you know, he’s feeling slighted as well or we’re just not for each other? So, let me see here. And real quick, quick reminder comment I want this and I’m going to pick random winners to get a free gift. It’s going to be possibly a book or even a ticket to my event continue continue to let me know what city that you’re from you know, and again, if you scroll down my page you can see the links to my books as well Love After Heartbreak, Man God Has For You, He’s Lying Sis, check them all out. All right, so let’s get back to these questions here Let’s see. All right, so question by Honey. Why is it that people with good hearts end up getting hurt the most? The reason why is because we use being good-hearted as a cover-up for being scared. And at times lacking self-esteem and not seeing our self-worth that is the reality of it. It’s like when people say oh, I’m too nice no, you’re not too nice you’re too afraid to say no. All right, so the issue isn’t that you’re good-hearted the issue is that you don’t know how to set boundaries. The issue is that you don’t respect yourself enough not saying don’t respect yourself at all but enough to understand and recognize and put your foot down when someone is being disrespectful to you or mistreating you. We’ve got to be honest with ourselves about the deeper issues we’re facing and why we may be lacking confidence. Because a lack of confidence will contribute to us being afraid to hold people accountable, all right. And now we’re letting things slide not because we’re so good-hearted but because we’re afraid, we’re afraid to lose them. We’re afraid to have to find another option we’re afraid to you know start all over again. We’re afraid to be alone whatever the case may be. So, we’ve got to stop trying to hide behind these positive labels I’m too nice, I’m too good-hearted no, you’re too scared you know, your confidence is too low. And because of that once we can understand or once we can acknowledge that now we can start addressing why. Why is your confidence that low? Why are you scared? Let’s get to the root of the issue now we can heal from those things we can flush those things out of your system because guess what, you can still be the most beautiful, good-hearted, sweetest person on this earth and let people know you ain’t one to play with, all right. Like you don’t have to let people run over you to be nice and sweet. You don’t have to allow people to mistreat you to have a good heart. Like, none of that is required so we can be both, we can be both and maintain positive energy you know, in all the things that we do. So, let’s get to the root of the issue and stop lying to ourselves about what’s going on here. So, let’s see. And again, shout out to everybody who’s on this live I love you all seeing all the comments all the people jumping on this is awesome. So, let’s see here. Shout out to Inez who says your book The Man God Has For You has really opened my eyes and opened the doors to peace for me thank you. My pleasure I’m really happy you enjoyed the book. If any you all haven’t checked that out yet themangodhasforyou.com. Again, all these things you guys can check out once the video is done. Just go on my page and you’re going to see the links scrolling through my page. So, let’s see here All right, Audrey’s asked why would a man say he loves you but he may not show it? How do men show love differently than women? Well, I don’t… First let’s start with why a man would say I love you and he doesn’t show it. Number one, reason is because he don’t really love you he just said it to make you happy and to appease you. Now, is it possible that a man could say I love you, mean it and still not show it in the way that you’re looking to be loved? Yes. Because a man loving you does not mean he knows how to love you. And so, this is why I encourage people, women and men, to be very forthcoming and transparent about what they need in their relationship how they want to be loved because if that person doesn’t know what you need how do we blame them for getting it wrong? Everybody’s raised differently, don’t assume it’s common sense. Don’t assume always he should know this, she should know this, no. Tell them. Now, and to me that’s the greatest test of how serious they are because if you tell them and now they know and there’s no excuse. They either going to step up or they need to get out the way, end of story. Because now you made it clear but when you don’t make it clear you’ve excused them from having to… You’ve given them an excuse basically you’ve given them a way out or cop out because you weren’t clear with them. So, be clear with the individual and in regards to how men and women love differently people love differently, people want to receive love differently. So, you got to base on the individual and take time to know the person you’re dealing with talk to them ask them what they like what they want to receive from you and then if you’re willing to do it, great. If you’re not be honest be like yo, that don’t work for me I don’t do this maybe we’re not for each other that’s fine too that happens, you know I’m saying. But the more we can be transparent then the quicker we can determine if we’re really for each other or not. Uhh. All right you know what, I have got to respond to this. So, this is coming from, Beverly. Beverly says I wonder why guys want to say I love you in like two weeks of dating. How can you love someone so fast? I think guys use I love you to manipulate. I love you should be a growing emotion. I’m going to have to respectfully disagree with you Beverly. Now listen, don’t get me wrong are there men who use I love you as manipulation? Absolutely. Are there men who are just really infatuated yet claiming I love you? Absolutely. But the idea that love has to be this overtime emotion and that it happening too fast is like oh, he must not be serious or she must not be serious is not true. The reality is that when two people experience a true deep and genuine connection that thing is instant, okay. And feeling like you love them it’s almost like the love’s always been in you and meeting that right person activates it like immediately. So, I’ve seen tons of situations where that feeling of love or that acknowledgment of it happened very quickly and it wasn’t because it was fake, it was because it was more real than anything they’ve ever seen. And when we say well, how could someone love someone that fast well, listen, especially when we’re grown when you’re grown, all right. And let’s just say over 30, all right. And I’m just throwing out a number. And you’ve been through enough people in your life you know the difference between that person who sticks out like no one else did versus everyone else. So, when that person stands out and there’s a connection and that thing is so amazing and intense yes, it is extremely possible to feel like you love them immediately and genuinely mean it and because your spirit is recognizing its match that’s what I believe the connection is. A connection is when our spirit recognizes it’s match. And so, don’t be so quick to dismiss uh love occurring quickly. Again, go deeper than that ask yourself am I feeling a connection here? Talk to God about it don’t just jump on the notion that oh, this happened quick so it can’t be real. Because I see a lot of people getting themselves in trouble going both ways with that. So, let’s see. Uhh. All right, Susie asks why does it take a man a couple years to say that he loves someone? Does he really love that person if it took a couple years? He may… I’m just going to give you my honest answer and sometimes you all are not going to like it but I’m just going to say what’s on my spirit how I generally feel. When it takes a couple years he may love you as in he cares about you and he likes you at a higher level than average but I would argue that he is more than likely not in love with you and that there isn’t a genuine connection in this relationship. And I do believe that many times what’s happening with individuals when it takes a while before they get to that place is that you didn’t fall in love with them you learned to tolerate them. You became conditioned to their presence in your life and now you develop an unhealthy attachment to them and so you don’t want to let go and you may now start to believe it’s actual love when it’s not love. So, to me, when it takes that long I mean I’m not going to say there’s not rare circumstances because again, situations depend on the details sometimes but in a general sense if you guys have been in an active romantic relationship and it took years before they could say I love you. Other than some deep rooted trauma that makes them struggle to say I love you I would have to… I’m going to be leaning towards no, he ain’t in love, he just grew attached at best, at best. So, let’s see here. Man there’s a lot of questions. So, again, quick reminder comment your city comment I want this and I will pick random winners to get a free bonus gift. And again, next week I will be in Philly, DC Pittsburgh for the you deserve it tour. So, let’s see… Excuse me. All right, I hope I said your name right Sashi or Sasha either way, question is why is it that men said they want a good woman when they have it they can’t handle it they think you are being controlling since you told them exactly what you want. Always remember… Now listen, again, without more details I can only give general answers, right. But what hits me when I read that question is always remember it’s not what you say but how you say it. Telling someone what you desire if they feel like you’re being controlling then that says to me your energy is coming off wrong. Your energy is either speaking down to them, it’s attacking them, it’s being abrasive in some kind of way. And that’s the energy it’s not the communication of your desires it’s how you are communicating it. So, you’ve got to take a step back and ask yourself am I expressing myself in a positive and loving manner? No one is receptive to feeling attacked feeling talked down to or someone being condescending in any kind of way. Or someone like you’re checking them like you’re his mama or something. Like nobody and no man is going to be receptive to that, okay. So, you’ve got to really ask yourself am I expressing myself in the most effective manner? Now, in regards to men want a good woman but they say they can’t handle it. Listen, men do want a good woman but being a good woman does not mean you are the right woman for him. Same way to him being a good man does not mean he is the right man for you. And so, yes, people mess it up because they’re not with the right person and we’re trying to force uhh, what is it? A round thing into a square hole or whatever the saying is. Like you’ve got to be mindful that just because we’re good people doesn’t mean we’re for each other and we have to be willing to recognize that. You’re going to come across some great people that you like but that doesn’t mean jump into relationship with them. That doesn’t mean any of them are for you. There will be one that will be for you but you’ve got to be careful of that. So, a lot of men get involved with “good women” but they know deep inside she’s not the one. And when that happens you’re… It’s a recipe for disaster every single time it’s going to go down this path of disaster and then the belief will be oh, well, men don’t really want a good woman. No, they do they really, really do but again, every woman ain’t the right one. So, let’s see here. All right, so, Karen ask how would you know when you’re already healed from a past relationship? So, you know you are healed when you are no longer walking in fear, all right. When you are not walking with your walls up, when you are fully willing to be vulnerable when you are no longer holding on to negative perceptions of the opposite sex and relationships and love. When you are walking in positivity, in faith, in optimism then you are at a good place and you are healed from the last relationship. But if you are holding on to negative energy then you still got some things you need to flush out. But let me make this very clear sometimes our struggle to heal in the previous relationship is because what resides within us stems from things before that relationship. Many of you on this live right now have issues that started from your childhood. Issues with your mothers with your fathers, with family members, friends, siblings, you name it or maybe even lovers from way back when. And that is still lingering within you and so now even though you think you’ve moved past the last relationship you still have things lingering from the previous ones before that. And you got to clear all of that out because if you don’t I’m telling you right now you are very likely to end up with the wrong person. I tell people that 99% likely to end up with the wrong person when they have not healed because a lack of healing throws everything off. So, don’t just focus on healing from the previous relationship, the most recent one, focus on healing from everything that hurts you, all right. Don’t leave any stone uncovered you got to address all of it. So, and again, if you need the steps to healing check out the book loveafterheartbreak.com. Why do men avoid having a relationship with a woman that prefers to wait until marriage? All right, so um a couple things to consider here. One, you got to understand that most men that you meet are probably not trying to be serious with you to begin with, all right. And so, if they’re not trying to be serious and when I say serious, dating with the intention of this could potentially go to marriage. Then to remove sex out of the equation makes the whole situation pointless for them. It’s like why would I be here with someone that, that’s what I’m looking for if they’re not going to be giving that to me. So, and I’m not saying me personally I’m just saying that’s what the guy might be thinking, all right. So, that’s one aspect of it. The other aspect is there are some men who are genuine or open to marriage or intend to get married but they still don’t see the whole waiting till marriage to have sex as something that they want to do. Because the concern for many men is one, again, what the argument will be made is that how do we know there’s sexual chemistry? Which I do believe they’re looking at it the wrong way, but this is how they perceive it. One, how do we know that sexual chemistry and how does that man know he’s getting a woman who is willing and able to fulfill him sexually, all right? Because a lot of men hear horror stories of men who are married in sexless marriages or you know, she not giving it to him like she used to and things of that nature. Now, I think the mistake a lot of men make is that they don’t understand basically, you could have sex before marriage and still end up in a sexless marriage, all right. Because the key ingredient isn’t whether you had sex or not the key ingredient is connection, the key ingredient is communication. To me, there are ways to find out if we really have good sexual compatibility energy with each other by simply having talking to each other and being open with each other. It doesn’t require us to get physically involved to figure that out. But that’s not a concept that is common to a lot of men or a lot of men fully understand. And so, it’s for them they want proof, they want evidence that this is going to be worth their while. And that’s why many will struggle to accept being in a relationship where they have to wait till marriage to have sex. Hey, thank you for watching this video. Be sure to check this one out right here and I’ll see you there.
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