Ready Are you gonna do the videos that like That yes What's wrong with this It looks awkward It's comfortable Jameson I've been Making videos with you for over 10 years Now can I be comfortable just once I got a question recently and I thought I'd bring it to you today because I Think it's going to help a lot of people This person said I feel stuck last May I Got out of a 10-year relationship I was In since I was 19. I'm doing a lot of Self-development and I found that when It comes to love and dating people don't Seem to be attracted to open good Communication at first I've been told I Get into deep talk really fast but then I keep getting friend zoned by really Attractive people because of it wouldn't It be better if I could just be this Healthy communicative open person and Then attract that kind of person or are Flirting and good communication often at Odds I thought this was a great question Because the answer gets to the heart of Why so many people do not get the call At the end of a first date we all have Our superpower the language we know the Best and that superpower can be an Incredible thing in This Woman's case It's her ability to go deep is her
Ability to empathize is her ability to Be sincere and to have meaningful Conversations but when taken to its Extreme it can become a disadvantage in Her case you hear she's getting friend Zoned by people she's attracted to I Want you as I start talking in this Video to think what's the language or The superpower That I know or have That I can do really really well what's That thing for me that comes out when I'm on a date the problem with having a Superpower like that is that we tend to Rely on it we lean on it and we can be Too much of it and we forget that for Someone to really find us irresistible They need to see more than one of these Components for her she had good Communication but communication isn't The same as attraction communication is Understanding someone and being Understood Traction is creating desire she was Communicating but not building Attraction there's a principle I want to Give you contrast creates attraction When we're one thing let's say in this Case we're able to have these meaningful Conversations but then we can switch Gears to something else perhaps being Flirtatious teasing someone being Playful All of a sudden there's a contrast
Between those two things and that Contrast is sexy that contrast is Unexpected that contrast is engaging It's like having this meaningful Conversation with someone sat at the bar And then they go to the bathroom and When they come back you all of a sudden Take them in as a person as a romantic Interest you see them walking back to The Sea and you realize that they're Attractive there's something about their Figure or the way they're dressed or the Way they carry themselves that is Attractive and when they come back to Their seat instead of just re-engaging On a deep and meaningful level you take A moment just to say to that person I really like your outfit by the way In that moment you're feeding that Attraction not just great communication It's the same thing as there being I Don't know a ping-pong table in the room And you saying to this person are you Good at ping pong and they say yes and You go me too we can't play And they say why and you go because We're gonna fight I'm gonna win Obviously and then we're gonna argue About it That moment where you tease them or Create a little tension is playground Stuff but it works for a reason because It creates this role play that's in a Different gear than just sincerity now
You wouldn't want to be this all the Time because it would be exhausting and It would come across ultimately as Insecure that would be too much But sprinkled in it can be very powerful I call these things unique pairings when You have two different qualities that You don't normally find in the same Person in the same person So now you have someone who's not just Playful but they can be sincere you have Someone who's not just sexy but can be Intellectual you have someone who is not Just deep and meaningful but can tease You five minutes later unique pairings Are what make us think I need to be Around this person they're you know at The extreme they make us feel like Someone is irreplaceable if you've had An X in your life that you struggled to Get over my guess is they had certain Unique pairings that you felt would be Difficult to replace in somebody else Well that's actually the effect we want To have when we're dating is that Someone meets us and they have one great Quality that they see but then they see Something else and they go oh my God That's those two things together that's The Sweet Spot that's irresistible I Remember Jamison telling me a story of When he first realized that he liked me Not just as someone he worked with but As an actual friend we were on a plane
On the way back from Seattle to LA we Were sat in the emergency room on the Plane but he was sat in a seat that Didn't have any room in front of him and I was sat in a seat where strangely There was no seat in front of mine so I Had not just a bit more leg room but Double the leg room and at a certain Point on the journey I was on my laptop Working and I just shot him a little Look and I went So hard to concentrate with all of this Leg room And I said it completely deadpan And he laughed and I forgot this moment This wasn't obviously like a big moment For me I forgot it completely but the Reason I know the story is because years Later he told me this story as a moment Where he realized a oh he's funny and B We're going to be friends now think About it it's not like I suddenly had to Be a jokester the whole way back it was Just a moment that appeared in contrast To the quite serious person that he had Seen up there on stage being a Professional now he got to see a Different side of me and that Highlighted a unique pairing now some People will listen to this and they'll Think this sounds like so much work I Have to be all these different things And some people will even say I have to Be things I'm not firstly I want to
Challenge the idea that you're not these Multi-faceted things we all have these Parts of ourselves if you've if you Don't associate with being being sexy or Have you ever been turned on then you Have sexuality and if you have sexuality You can be sexy have you ever had a Funny thought have you ever made your Best friend laugh then you have a sense Of humor a lot of the time what we think We don't have are just muscles we've Never worked and we over develop the Muscles that we're most comfortable with And to the point of well it's just so Much work having to do all of this it's Not you don't have to be all of these Things all of the time there are certain Things we want to be as much of the time As possible like kind and compassionate Just a genuine authentic person but There are other things like being funny Or flirtatious or teasing creating Tension sexuality that we they're like Seasoning we just add a little bit here And there and a little bit is enough It's almost like just showing that we Can be that thing that I you you have a Playful moment with someone and someone Goes oh they can be playful you show a Little moment of you give someone a Compliment in a flirtatious way and they Realize oh they can be sexual they can Be flirtatious it's just showing someone We can go to that beat and that we don't
Keep going to the same beat all the time So unique pairings are the answer To how to get that phone call after a Date how do you keep someone wanting More how do you make them want to go From date two to date three to day four To date ten and ultimately I believe That the people we end up marrying are The people that we see as having a Collection of unique pairings that we Never want to give up this is my Instruction to you today Ask yourself two questions What muscle have I over developed That I'm using too much Which by the way is a good thing me Having that muscle is a good thing I Always think about it like this learning A language is an amazing thing but don't Stay in that place so long that it Becomes the only language you know and The second question is what muscle has Atrophied what muscle has become weak From not using it or maybe you feel like You've never used it it doesn't come out On your dates it doesn't come out around People you're attracted to I want you to Answer that question in the comments and By the way if you love this concept and You're like I need to build my unique Pairings but I don't know how or I want To be more flirtatious and playful or Sexy or hey just what are the practical Ways that I can do that I have a entire
Group of people that I work with Exclusively every month in the love life Club and you can join them we do Coaching calls I do master classes Interviews with other experts that I Bring you and have access to there's a Whole Community inside an app that you Get on your phone it's an amazing place To be and you can join for a 14 day free Trial by going to Joinlovelife.com you can set up your Free profile in minutes and come join us And access all of the content that's in There for my members I look forward to Seeing you in there thank you for Watching this video and I will see you Next week [Music] Foreign
Creativity in writing is becoming a scarcity.
Between the constant temptation to dance for the algorithm and the staggering advance of artificial intelligence, our world is spiraling into what I believe to be a creative crisis.
For us to remain an emotionally-aware race, while at the same time pushing humanity forward, we must cultivate and champion creativity both in ourselves and in the generations to come and write as we feel.
This is why I’m dedicating the next decade of my life to exploring the subject of creativity as both an artist and teacher.
I hope you enjoy my content