Everyone wants to be loved. Everyone wants to feel valued in a relationship and they want reassurance that lets them know their partner feels as deeply about them as they do for their partner. But the reality is that sometimes that can be difficult to decipher and we don’t always either pick up on the signs that tell us that they are or they’re not.
Or we’re not willing to accept it for what it is. Now, in discussing the idea of when a man is into you, here’s something I found on the internet that wanted to read to you. I don’t know which book this is from I found it randomly.
But it’s an interesting topic that I want to shed some light on as we go deeper into this video, okay. So, this excerpt again, I don’t know what book this is, it reads when a man is truly interested in you there will be no need for you to do the pursuing.
Men are born to pursue women. Yes, you can pursue a man if you want to but in most cases, that’s just an obvious sign that he’s not into you. It’s not natural for a man to sit back and let the woman do all of the work for a man who claims to like you to sit back and allow you to do all of the calling, texting, dating arrangements, talks about the future, etc.
It’s pretty obvious where you stand in that man’s life. When a man really wants you you won’t have to chase after him like he’s some celebrity who barely has time for a fan you will be his priority. Now, I don’t disagree, okay.
I definitely believe that when a man is truly into you he will prioritize you and he will be willing to pour into you and he’s not going to make you have to chase him. But the reason why I wanted to read that excerpt to you is because I feel that many women forget what the man is going through emotionally when he’s into you.
And what we’re talking about today specifically is the secret thoughts he’s having because in the secret thoughts it will shed light on the deeper inner workings of a man who is in love or who is into a woman.
And some of the things that’s going on with him may surprise you or may cause you to realize how he becomes very fragile in this state, all right. And the littlest thinking can start to throw things off with this man.
So, let’s get right to it and before I do, be sure to subscribe to my channel and like this video. So, number one, when he’s really into you one of those thoughts is does she really loved me? Now, granted if you guys are not in a relationship yet it may be too soon for him to be wondering about you loving him.
But let’s face it, it’s still a thought and if you are in a relationship it’s damn sure a thought. And the reason why I wanted to speak about this is because again, I think one of the things that women overlook is how when a man is truly into a woman and is emotionally vulnerable, it can make a lot of men become insecure or at the very least, teeter on the line of insecurity because there’s this greater concern of how you feel how you feel about him, how you view him, all these different things.
He becomes much more sensitive now to the things that you have to… Things that you say and the things that you do. Some of you may have noticed have you ever experienced a situation where you’ve known a man maybe you were friends maybe you guys were just getting to know each other.
And initially, he seemed very sure of himself very confident, masculine guy, right. And let’s just say in this scenario he’s a guy who can get women easily. So, he never seems to be this insecure type and if anything, all these qualities I just named for you is partially what attracted you to this guy.
So, now you’ve finally crossed that line with him and you engage in a relationship or engaging the expressions of emotions, right? And now you start really seeing that he’s being extra sensitive. He’s starting to not take jokes the same way he used to take jokes, he seems to be you know, checking on you in a way that is borderline uncomfortable you know.
And you’re like what the hell’s going on? And you almost feel like he tricked me. Like, what just happened? This is not the same guy you signed up for, but it is, it is, it’s just that when he’s into you he becomes so much more emotionally fragile and sensitive.
And so, going back to the thought of does she love me? What happens is in this state this man is looking for reassurance that you are as into him as he is into you. And for some women a lot of women the idea might be well, if I’ve chosen to actually move forward and be in a relationship with this man he should know that I do love him.
Not exactly, not exactly because I think the other issue that women tend to overlook is how many men have gotten their heart broken? And not just simply heartbroken by a woman they were trying to pursue who wasn’t interested.
No, I mean with a woman who said I love you, with a woman who embrace being with this man yet betrayed him, yet mistreated him, yet played him, whatever the case may be. And so, as a man has experienced more in his life and as he’s gotten older there is a very good chance he’s had some kind of heartbreak on some level, some kind of disappointment and hurt.
And therefore, again, just as many women need a level of reassurance from that man that he is into them, as he’s saying with his words she wants to see words and actions be consistent well, so does he.
And the unfortunate reality going back to that excerpt that I read you is that when we talk about you don’t need to pursue him. Let’s re-word that you won’t need to chase some as that excerpt said he will never make it a one sided relationship with you when he’s really into you.
But you do have to make an effort, you do have to be willing to show him through the actions that he needs to see that you are as into him as he is into you, all right. And so, you want to be mindful of that because again, when he’s genuinely into you, yes, he is wondering and questioning you know, does she truly love me? You know, is she really into me? And unfortunately I am going to add this one more thing before we move on to the next point, the unfortunate reality because it happens to women a lot but it happens to men as well are the negative outside influences.
And so, be mindful of the people who are around him because again, you know, misery loves company and sometimes miserable people, men and women start to plant seeds of doubt into people’s spirits, into people’s minds.
And that’s why it’s very important one, for him as a man and just us as individuals to guard ourselves against these types of negative influences. But this is why we also have to strengthen and fortify our relationships with each other to make sure that outside influences cannot undermine what we have.
Because we’ve poured enough or we pour enough consistently into each other that we feel confident about what we have in front of us, but there’s a lot of people who don’t have that confidence and it may not be because you as a woman don’t love the man.
It’s just that maybe you struggle with certain levels of expression, maybe you feel like you know well, he should be doing the work. And it’s like no, you got to make sure you’re meeting him halfway and for some of you who will say well, I do, I do great.
But not every woman does and that’s why I have to highlight that point but let’s keep this moving and get to the next one. So, the second secret thought a man will have when he’s into you is, is she thinking about me? Now, the reason why I had to add this to the list is because let me give this example, all right.
And it’s let me just give it and you we’ll get to it. So, a lot of times when I’m coaching women or even talking to female friends, women who are friends of mine you know, there’ll be times where they’ll say I haven’t heard from him for the last three days.
Let’s just say something like that happens, right. He hasn’t called me oh, forget him I’m done. And I’m like, did you reach out to him? Like, did you at any time stop yourself and say well, let me attempt to call him.
Now again, some of you may be the one who did attempt and he did not respond now that’s a different issue. But I’m bringing this up because I’ve seen a lot of scenarios where the woman wants to receive those good morning texts.
The woman wants to know she’s on the man’s mind the woman wants the man to be considerate of her and to be thinking of her maybe when he’s going to the store. Hey, baby do you need anything, right. But sometimes the woman forgets he wants it too the woman forgets that hey, he wants to be told or received that random text.
Hey, just thinking about you yes, if again, I know some of you saying no, men don’t like that listen, men who aren’t serious about you don’t care about that. Men who are not healthy enough to be willing to be vulnerable may not care for that.
The guy who’s really into you and serious about you who doesn’t feel good when someone they’re into says I’m thinking about you I haven’t met that person, you know what I’m saying. So, don’t trick yourself into believing that he does want to feel wanted, desired.
Or let’s go a step further I want to see you. Like, just expressing a level of desire and wanting him to come around. Again, I think what happens to so many women is that you guys have had to deal with so much nonsense and so many wrong men, that you start to think that the things that those wrong men didn’t appreciate and respect and honor is simply something that all men don’t care for.
And it’s like no, you’ve got to separate what the wrong men didn’t embrace from what the right man would love, love, okay. And though this wasn’t on the list I’m going to add this real quick compliment the man compliment the damn man, okay.
And I got passionate because this is an issue I have seen so much. Especially even with married couples, all right. I remember one time I had this one guy married couple. And we were talking and you know, he was a good looking guy over six foot, muscles, I mean, could be a model he got plenty of attention.
And he would tell me man you know, everywhere I go women would compliment me and look at me, and you know all this stuff. And he didn’t entertain nobody, he wasn’t doing anything outside of his marriage.
But he said you know, it’s crazy, because I get all these compliments but I can’t get it from the one woman I want it from the most, which was his wife. And so, I think sometimes, and we all know that men could use some reminders when it comes to complimenting their woman too, all right.
Don’t get me wrong, I understand this happens on both sides but I’m speaking to you ladies right now. So, it can become very easy to forget how compliments and those words that express desire oh, you look good or I’m proud of you or any of those things how good that feels to someone who loves you.
And we may think to ourselves oh, well, they’ve heard it a million times. All right, well, say it a million and one, say it a million and two. Like, don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you have to say it every single day the same way I don’t think you’re expecting your man to say it to you every single day.
But you do want to be mindful that you don’t go so long without giving a compliment, that you don’t say it. And let’s be real there are times where you might see your man, see the man you’re dating or you’re officially with.
And he does look damn good to you right now but for whatever reasons is like, I’m not going to say I don’t want to blow his head up, I don’t want to feel too cocky. Some women think like that and it’s like don’t do that with your partner.
You should be able to hype up your partner, you should be able to make them feel good and be able to have them walking out that house feeling confident. Whether they’re with you or without you, all right.
So, be mindful of that so yes, he wants to know that you are thinking about him too and you definitely want to also compliment the man. All right, so now the third secret thought a man has when he’s really into you is I hope she really likes this.
So, plain and simple the man who’s into you want to make you happy, he’s trying to impress you. This is one of the reasons why you hear things such as like the man who’s into you is not going to make him chase you.
Because when a man is truly into you his desire is to provide to impress, to be seen in high regard. He wants your love and respect and so because of that there is a thought of like I hope she appreciates this.
But here’s the problem that happens to so many people and it happens to a lot of guys. Sometimes a guy may genuinely be trying to make you happy and be putting forth true effort what his true effort looks like, it may not match what you think true effort should be, right.
But this is really effort for him this is more than he’s used to. And because it may not meet a certain standard or look the way that you would expect for it to look or be maybe as considerate as maybe you would be or more specifically, maybe as detailed as you would be.
Sometimes the appreciation and the gratitude he’s looking for or the reaction he’s looking for from you doesn’t come. And men can get very deflated very fast and once they do then the effort starts to waver.
Always remember, appreciation breeds production but when people feel unappreciated and this is so especially true with men they will start to do less or not put forth the same effort because they feel like well, what’s the point she never really likes it.
It never seems to really impress her or it never feels like it’s good enough for this woman. And so, you want to be mindful of though the end result may not always be as great as it possibly could have been.
Recognize the effort that man is making, recognize that sometimes he just has certain limitations of understanding what you’re really looking for in that action in that gift, all right. So, for example, let’s say he plans a trip for you guys and on this trip let’s say he forgets small details like he didn’t set up like, let’s say a tour.
And to you, like you’re the type of woman who maybe if you plan a trip it’s all point you got sightseeing set up, you got dinner set up, you got all these things perfectly set up because that’s how your mind works.
That’s how a lot of women, a lot of women are just better at the details, okay. This guy he just booked the flight, he booked the hotel, he figured that’s it like I did… This is me showing her I’m really feeling her, now I’m into her and I love her, right.
And to you, it’s like how are you so stupid that you didn’t do this other stuff. And maybe you’ll think he’s stupid, but you’re just thinking like it comes across as a half assed effort, okay. I didn’t want to use the word ass but I had to use it it doesn’t seem like he took it as serious but he actually did.
He just doesn’t know any better, you see and so it’s important that as a woman you take a step back and you recognize that and this is especially true early on in dating and relationships. That man still has to learn you, he still has to learn what truly will make you happy.
He has to learn the details, the details that you’re looking for. And so, you want to still show appreciation for what he did do. It doesn’t mean you can’t at some point, point out that hey, you know, next time we do this let’s add some things to it or whatever you can constructively criticize.
I would say wait till after the vacation or after the gift is over, right. You don’t want to ruin the mood in that moment because it’s not going to change anything in that moment, but yes, you can point it out but recognize that.
So, he does… A man who’s into you does want to, he is worried about how much you’re going to like something, you know. And so, when he does those things, always acknowledge the effort acknowledge what he’s doing and just work with him towards making it even better in the future.
All right, so we got a few more to go and so the next one now on the list of secret thoughts a man has when he’s really into you is will she still respect me? And so, this is to highlight the issue and the concern that the man has when it comes to maybe opening up to you about certain things, showing you his vulnerable moments, all right.
So, again we have to understand that when he’s into you he’s more emotionally vulnerable, he’s more fragile, all right. I always use a quote in the past that says the man a woman loves most has the least room for error, all right.
Essentially, what that means is that when a woman is really into a man his actions sting more than the next man. So, basically, if it’s some guy you don’t really care about and he forgets your birthday that may not hurt you or hit you the same way as the guy that you’re really into forgetting your birthday and because of that, because those missteps hurt even more he has less room to keep making mistakes.
A lot of times when you see a woman and I know this is about the guys, but a lot of times when you see a woman going back to a man consistently who constantly hurts her it’s because it’s not really love its attachment.
Because if it was love, it would hurt too much to keep taking it over and over again and keep going back to it. You will see women break away or run away from the man they’re really more into when hurt happens where as the guy they’re not really into like that they’re much more willing to give more opportunities to.
Anyways, how that applies to men is that there’s a level of that, that occurs with men as well. And because again, he is more concerned about your opinion of him he now becomes more cautious when it comes to opening up about certain things and showing those vulnerabilities.
And so, this is why it’s so important as a woman that you remember two big things. One, do not ever throw his vulnerable moment back in his face, ever. The minute you do that you are going to severely damage the relationship.
Now, some of you may have already crossed that line. I don’t mean to laugh, but let’s just be real. Some of you guys, ladies, you get caught up in the moment, you allow your emotions to get the best of you, and you say things you should not have said.
I’m not going to say you can’t fix it. I’m just saying that now we have a road to recovery and we have to acknowledge what happened if we’re going to fix the situation. But if you have yet to do it then please be mindful you have to practice catching yourself when you know you’re so upset that you may say some things.
Or if you know you have a habit of having a very sharp tongue, then you have to practice the method of when you start to get upset say you know what, I don’t want to say the wrong thing let’s just take a break from this conversation and come back to it when I’m more calm.
Like you got to practice stepping away before you say the wrong thing. Because again, you throw it back in his face, it’s going to make things a lot more difficult. The second thing to remember is if you desire vulnerability from a man you have to be vulnerable with him too.
You have to be willing to open up. And I know some of you may think but I am. I think sometimes as a woman you may not realize how much you’re still holding back. And again, I get it, I understand you’ve been through some hurt before, you’ve been in relationships where maybe the guy was a horrible communicator or shut down or turn the tables on you or threw things back in your face, I get it, right.
But we can’t have a healthy relationship without the willingness to be vulnerable and open up. And getting back or connecting this to the main point that I made because it’s the issue of he wants to still be respected in your eyes.
So, I’m going to give you an example and this wasn’t with a woman I was dating, but we were well, I guess you could say we were… Anyway, we’re not going to get into those details. But the point is, it was someone I was close to and at this time, I pretty much lost everything.
I was running the business, the business crashed I was pretty much going to zero. And I had a moment of weakness. And I was like, you know, depressed and I didn’t know what I was going to do and I did let myself open up.
But I was worried, I was worried like man, she’s going to look at me like a little punk. Like, how’s she going to look at me after this? And I remember she said to me listen, you were successful once you can be successful again.
Like, she did not pile it on. She did not let me dwell in the misery, she kind of gave me a pep talk like no, you’re going to be good, don’t worry, you’re fine. And that reassurance and not an attack on the weakness or not feeling like oh, you’re looking me different now.
It brought such peace, you know, it was a really great thing. And I think as a woman, you got to understand especially when he’s in that moment where he’s beating himself up or he’s feeling bad. And listen, sometimes it might be because yes, he made a legit bad decision, all right.
Hell, did something flat out stupid. That ain’t the time though to say hey, you know you did something a real stupid, right. Like that’s not the time to kick the man while he’s down. It’s all about how you say it, not what you say but how you say it.
And learning how to tactfully talk to him in those moments is going to go a long, long way. So, and reassuring him that you still respect him as a man because that respect is important to him. And more so important from the woman that he’s really into.
So, before I move on to next point real quick, get your copy of The Man God Has For You. Best selling book thousands of reviews. Be sure to click the link in description or in the comment section or go to www.
themangodhasforyou.com. All right, so let’s keep this going and the next one is or the next thought the man has when he’s really into you is I really want her to know how serious I am about her. And so, we’ll make this one a little quick.
Essentially, I do think that men understand that at least again, the man who’s serious about you. He understands that you’ve probably been through some nonsense with other men. He understands the concerns and the fears that a woman has when it comes to really trying to make sure this guy is not playing her and he’s serious.
And so, that man wants you to know how serious he is. And this is why he’s so willing to provide and protect and impress and pour into you. And though I don’t want no man chasing a woman, the same I don’t want a woman chasing a man.
I do think that some men when they get into you that they just want to do whatever it takes, whatever it takes to show you, I’m all about you, I am serious. He is prepared to give you that reassurance.
But there’s always a but, but sometimes he doesn’t understand fully what you’re looking for to feel reassured about his seriousness and his love. And this is why it becomes important to communicate and be open about what you’re looking for.
I know, the concern from a lot of women is if you tell the man what you’re looking for then that gives him the ammunition to play you. But again, I will always make the argument that the man who’s typically just trying to play you or use you, is not trying to do everything on your list of what you’re looking for.
He’s looking to cut corners, he’s looking to get the most for the least, all right. So, I’m not saying no man will ever use your desires against you but typically, that’s not what’s going to happen. Typically, when you see a man that’s played a woman, you can point out where the red flags are, you can point out where he wasn’t being serious.
It’s very rare that he shows seriousness across the board and he’s like, he was just playing games. So, understand that yes, you got to be open and be willing to communicate and understand that he does not automatically know.
You know, we always say the man can’t read your mind. And I think sometimes the mistake that some women make is assuming well, he should know better. How doesn’t he know this? You know. And I’m just going to give you one quick example and this is more like in the dating phase where sometimes a lot of men especially in today’s world, text a lot.
Now, listen, I’m a firm believer that we have to be mindful of over texting and do more phone conversations or face times and having quality time face to face. But I do think that a lot of people have become very comfortable with texting.
Hell, there are women who are very comfortable with texting. So, sometimes the constant use of texts versus phone calls some women may look at that like, oh, he’s not serious, you know. And he should know better.
He’s a grown man how does he not know you got to have more phone conversation? He genuinely may not know. But if he’s serious about you and you let him know that’s a concern for you he will correct it.
All he needs to know is what the issue is. So, be mindful of that because he does want to show you how serious he is. All right and now the sixth thought secret thought a man has when he’s into you is I don’t want to lose her.
At the end of the day… Again, I don’t think anyone is above having fear when they truly love someone. It’s very easy for fear to creep in not because the love isn’t pure or genuine. But because the mind has so many things that it has seen or the mind, the eyes, the ears have taken in a lot, whether it be past experiences of being hurt, being disappointed, seeing other people go through stuff.
And again, as I mentioned earlier, those negative influences maybe planting seeds in that person’s head and all of that creates fear for a lot of people. And I would argue that even more so when they’re really into you.
Because again, when we’re really into someone when we love someone, this is when we are our most vulnerable and we’ll use the word most fragile. And it’s important that we learn how to become stronger in the midst of the noise.
Because there’s going to be noise no matter what and maybe not in the beginning of relationship, but at some point in relationship there will be moments of doubt. There will be moments of concern or flat out fear and we have to learn to push past that.
But ultimately yes, when he’s into you, he’s going to have that thought of I don’t want to lose this woman. And that’s part of what fuels him to do the things that he’s willing to do for you. Though, I would encourage all to not let fear be your fuel.
It is completely understandable that this is what happens to all of us men and women. But you cannot let fear be the reason why you do what you do, it must be born out of faith. Because when it’s born out of fear, there’s a lot more that can go wrong, it becomes a lot easier to get thrown into playing games and poorly reacting to situations.
Because we’re allowing a negative spirit so to speak, to fuel and to guide our actions and that should not be the case. So, we have to reject fear being a motivator and embrace faith being our motivator.
And of course, you know me, letting God be your guide in these situations and how you handle your relationships and people in general, as well as yourself. All right, so now we’re at the last thought, secret thought a man has and this one I really had to put this on the list and that secret thought is she’s the only woman I want to be with.
Now, I’m going to keep it real with you all. I didn’t say she’s the only woman I’m going to ever be attracted to, all right. I didn’t say she’s the only woman I’ll ever have any kind of thoughts about, okay in a general sense.
But I will say with confidence that yes, he will say to himself, he will think to himself she is the only woman I want to be with. And the reason why I had to put this on this list is because I think so many women have become jaded and starting to believe that there are no faithful men out there.
And listen, I’m not going to sit here and act like there aren’t plenty of cheaters in this world. Cheaters in the sense of just that’s how they live their life. They live their lives thinking I don’t need to be faithful in a relationship what the hell is all that for? However, I will say again with confidence that there are tons of men, men who embrace being faithful, who only desire one woman, who have no problem being with one woman.
And I would argue and we’re not going to get into it today but even in these situations because it can happen where a situation where this man says this is the only woman I want to be with, ends up cheating.
There’s a lot of deeper reasons going on to why that happens that isn’t being honestly discussed in society. A lot is being swept under the rug, a lot is being scapegoated and it to me, though it’s going to be some things some of you all don’t want to hear, it needs to be said because without having proper understanding we cannot properly address the issue and therefore minimize the chances of infidelity and cheating happening.
However, I digress let’s get back to the main point. He will only want to be with you and I’ve seen tons of situations even men, even men who were “running the streets,” all right all over the place meet that woman that they’re really into and not just thinking to themselves, but say even to their male friends I’m willing to give up all the women for her this is all I want this is where my heart is I’m happy here I don’t need anything else.
And so, again, it was just important for me to bring that point up because I want you ladies to understand that exists it is out there. And I will go as far as to say listen, there are men that I meet who even when they’re not in a relationship I can see they’re a relationship guy that’s what I call it, they’re a relationship guy.
They really just want a stable one-woman relationship, they’re not looking for all the extra stuff, they’re not looking to be all over the place, they just want their one woman. And they would be so happy and content there and they’re not wired for the playing games and being with different women.
I think sometimes women are being told that all men are like this, this is not true. All men are not wired like that, there are men who are and there are men who are not, all right. And you can even see it.
Not to get too deep into it right now but you can even see that kind of thinking in other aspects of their life. Like there are men out there who they don’t search for more, they’re not in this constant I need more, I need to achieve, I need to have more.
They just need to have what they need and they’re good like they just… They’re settled at that level and they don’t need nothing else whether it be money, whether it be the size of their house, their car, whatever.
They’re just good at does this takes care of my needs? Why am I going to be trying to make anything else happen, all right. And that’s how they’re genuinely wired. So, yes, understand that you can have that man, that man exists out there for you, and you have to believe it so that you can receive it.
Hey, thank you for watching this video. Be sure to check this one out right here and I’ll see you there. A wise man doesn’t love a million girls he loves one girl in a million ways. And so, essentially when a man is truly in love with you the words that he speak will sound like music to your ears but.